Tag Archives: diamonds

Meet Will and Rod from The Diamond Diva Vendetta

All the men jumped out to assess the situation, shining their headlamps at the ruined tire. “That’s a goner,” pronounced Will.

“It sure is,” Rod agreed.

Logan sighed. “Get the spare. I’ll get the jack.”

He started to move, but Will put a hand to his arm. “Why don’t we pull the jeep off the road, cover it with branches and camp here for tonight.” He nodded toward their guest who was holding her head in her hands. “She’s stuffed, and all this bouncing can’t be good for her ole lemon spread.”

“English, man,” Rod huffed. “What the hell did you just say?”

Logan looked around the area as he considered Will’s idea. “She’s tired, and the bouncing hurts her head.” He looked back to Will. “Is that right?”

“A course. What else would I be sayin’?”

“So why can’t you just say that?”

“It ain’t the first time ya heard cockney, ya nong.”

“They’re completely nonsensical! How can I possibly remember them?”

Will shook his head and pointed a little further up the road. “I thought there was something familiar about that last bend. There’s the burned spot we cleared last month for our tactical exercises campie.”

“I thought it smelled different here,” Rod said, but Will looked at him skeptically.

“It still smells burned after a month?”

Rod shrugged and tapped his nose. “Some of us got it, and some of us don’t.”

Meet Rita Miller from The Diamond Diva Vendetta (Coming Soon!)

The next safehouse turned out to be more rustic than the first, and it was obvious the jungle had tried to reclaim it. Rita took one look at all the spiderwebs, and ran back out. She was not spending the night with big ass rainforest spiders. While they cleaned the place out, they put her to work knocking down webs in what looked like some kind of outdoor shower stall. A very long stick got the job done, and she only screamed twice.

She hoped there wasn’t anything living in the large suspended rubber sheet above it that had a shower head in the middle, as she was not tall enough to see. And she really didn’t want to know anyway. She wanted a shower in the worst way, but was she really going to use this thing? How did it work? There was obviously no plumbing.

Throwing down her spider stick, she turned in time to see Will and Rod sneaking out with something they obviously didn’t want her to see. Dear God in heaven, are there snakes in there?

She walked the small clearing around the cabin, trying to calm her beating heart, and stopped in front of what was probably an outhouse. She scowled and wrinkled her nose at the thought. She continued on to the front where there was a fire pit. She looked in the door of the open cabin and saw no sign of a kitchen.

She loved communing with nature on occasion as much as the next person, but she also had no problem professing that at the end of the day, she wanted to use a flush toilet and take a hot shower inside the house before slipping in between her 700 count Egyptian cotton sheets in the middle of very urban Kansas City. C.G. loved camping, but Rita had never been a fan. She sent a desperate prayer heavenward that they wouldn’t be in this particular “safehouse” long.